| QUOTES |
[06 Mar 2004|11:03am] |
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mood |
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these are for my lovely pepperleen!
"i ask you to accept this complicated idea without any proof whatsoever."
"if i had been thinking about it i would have brought a small child." (to show the pull between the earth and the moon)
"its all happy heehees and hahas until your hand slips."
"and here we are claiming the earth for all mankind.....with the us flag......and if anyone does not like it, they can come and knock it down."
"i think they are not being fair by not letting me screw up their computer."
"if you see a meteoroid fall dont pick it up! we have all seen science fiction movies and know what happens"
".....hmmm....somebody check on that. i think i just told you something that is not true."
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(1 Tushie | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| ASHES TO ASHES |
[21 Nov 2003|01:23am] |
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mood |
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 touched |
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you are crapping me!!! not much surprises me when it comes to my death and dying class, but this...whoa nelly....this was hard to stomach......HAHAHAHA. read on, you will figure it out.
did you know that you can send a telegram to a loved one who has died for only $10 a word? their is a service provided by a company who hires terminally ill people to take messages and find the dead person in heaven and give it to them.
it is amazing what can be done with ashes of the deceased. they can make your loved one into a diamond, so you can wear them.
i am most entertained by the idea of cryogenics. i would not chose it, but it intrigues me more than i can say (freezing your pet is a tittybit (that word is for robyn) weird though). companies will either freeze all of you or just your head. it is hard to figure out why one would just want to freeze there head. if i died and back in 2050 i would want all of me, not just my head. i was told the reason for only the head is because we will have metal spider bodies so the head will be the only needed part. but frankly i think humans like sex far too much to give that up. a whole froze body it is!
moving slowly to the icky part....
there was a film about different ways to mourn the died. did you know they have drive thru funerals? where you can pull through like at burger king, and view the body so that you do not have to take the time to get out of your car! and they say we are lazy! pshaw, i have no idea how people came to that conclusion.
there was a spot about a buddhist funeral, complete with a laser light show and fog machines. i found it interesting, with them being buddhists and all.....that to me does not scream buddhist.
the end spot was a piece on a lonely, sweet elderly man who lost his wife and had no relatives. when his wife died he was heart broken and did not know what to do. so logically he had her head cut off and sent to the cryogenics lab in california (you gotta love those head freezing bastards in california!).
what happen to the rest of the body, you ask. he cremated it, which seems normal enough, yes. but it is what he did with those ashes that threw me for a loop......
he put the ashes into tiny little capsules. WHICH HE ATE EVERY MEAL! one pill a meal. is that cannibalism? i know that by definition it is to eat human flesh, but human is human, burnt or raw.
skye's response to me was: " you like humor in death, how is that?" we laughed hysterical, i think mostly out of shock.
i turned to rory whose response was a none emotional facial expression due to tremendous shock and simple said "what?" without blinking and did not move for several minutes.
did i mention that HE SLEEPS IN BED WITH THE ASHES?
boy oh boy i love this class.
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| OH THE PEOPLE WE MEET |
[20 Oct 2003|02:17pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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normally one does not think of winco as the place to go for FABULOUS produce. however i must say i was impressed with their selection of pumpkins. mel and i found the most wonderfully ugly pumpkins there!! they have warts and scars and their vines have grown into them creating a butt-like pattern. i am so impressed with my ugly pumpkin i do not want to crave in fear of taking away from its pumpkiness.
feeling like social creatures mel and i found ourselves at ana's work waiting for her to be done with work. we met and saw several interesting people.
first there was john t. who mel and i have "lovingly" renamed chang. the reason...i am not sure. ana had told all the people there that we were her half cousins. which was fine until chang asked how we were related to ana. to which mel replied, well we are half cousins by being cousins...but not cousins to someone else. then mels head looked as though it was going to explore then just said "huhmmmm, its a polynesian thing....cousins......" then quickly turning her attention to the table as if to contemplate her explanation to see if even she got it. he stopped coming back to our table when ana tried to smash his head into my ice cream, which would have made me sad since my ice cream created a hidden cave when it melted. several people who work with ana tried to remove it from in front of me, but i could not let go of this secret cave.
then there was the man who had one of those shirts that has some message on it but when you stare you think they think you want to jump but the more you stare the more confusing the shirt is. well mel asked, and if you ask me it was a dumb saying to have on a shirt. well the man came back with a camera and wanted a picture of me and mel. on the ride home we decided that it was not such a good idea and then mel was overcome with thoughts of one day coming across some photo of her on some porn sight.
micheal is the guy who mel has decided to make fall in love with her was nice enough i suppose. although i do have some resentful feelings towards since he spoke to me several times and distracted me from my fat man search. you will know when mike is walking by since mel will wave with all her might and blow kisses at him.
the fat man is a man i spied when i am all by my lonesome. i saw sitting all nicely people watching as i love to do suddenly out of the corner of my eye what do i spy?!?!?! the glorious fat man!! and NOT JUST ANY FAT MAN!! no indeed he was dressed in nothing but pants and suspenders on his naked upper half! alas there was know to share this with, believe me i looked, not even my new "friends" were around. so for the next hour i sat there with my eyes set on that spot (well at least when i was not being distracted by people....and we all know how good my attention span is) so i could point him out. sadly fat half naked man never came back, i know you are all crying with me
then there was the security guard man. he too asked how we were related, thinking back to mel's last answer i decided to field this one. mel and i were cousins but only half cousins to ana, followed by a big smile and there was no problem...that man used alot of salt...a sickening amount.
after which mel paid me a complement "you are a good liar."
yay yay yay! i hope time passes quickly.
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(4 Tushies | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| FUN TIMES WITH DEATH AND DYING |
[02 Oct 2003|10:37am] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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i do not like my "art of being human" instructor. he is an asshole. and there are only 7 of us in that class SO i have to deal with him. however i very much enjoy my "death and dying" class. the instructor is wonderfully funny. and i get to plan my funeral. if i were to chose a casket i would like it to be lined with olive green satin, but i wish to be cermated........i am kind of sad that i can not somehow incorporate the color olive green now. i suppose this project could be considered morbid, but i think it is FANTASTIC!.......i do not think i want a funeral or "life celebration". it is a marvelous assignment, but come to think of it i find funerals boring.
k this is for pepperleen and mel cause they are probably the only people who would know what i am talking about....this will be really hard to describe to my instructor. OK so in ANNE of G.G., you know when anne is in the little canoe thingy and dianna, ruby and jane push the boat into the water?
.........actaully that may not be a good idea. it may cause issues if the boat why found by some random people.... i think i need to think about this more.
yesterday i almost had a melt down from stress. i like to walk, too bad there are no good places to walk around here.
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(1 Tushie | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| A WEDDING TRIP |
[07 Sep 2003|02:23pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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our endeavor began around 8 friday morning. this time was chosen in the event that we needed cushion time. aw cushion time, what a novel idea….i had not imagined that our cushion time would be used by us missing an exit due to ODOT not clearly marking an exit, let me restate, they did not mark it at all. at least robyn got to see multnomah falls. mel played an important role on this trip.
“what are you guys wrapping your gift in?”
“that box” i said in all seriousness.
“no seriously” mel said dryly.
“that box” i said again. those two statements were repeated about ten times.
“KENDRA! seriously” evidently mel did not feel that wrapping a gift of homemade candles that mysteriously grow holes in them should be wrapped in a payless shoe box.
as a result of this conversation we stopped by fred meyer. also purchased was a pair of grandma panties, since mel commented on my blue underwear with flowers the previous night….. i did not end up wearing the grandma underwear, in fact i can not actually find the purchased underwear. the nice thing about central oregon is the i have to sets of aunts and uncles there. and vicki always leaves her doors unlocked so visitors can enter at will and shower at their leisure.
to our amazement we all were ready by our appointed time to leave for the wedding. off to the wedding! we pulled up to the park where the wedding was to commence. 10 minutes to the hour………..um, why is there only one person there? quickly called some osu kid for the answer, “hi, this is kendra, you don’t know me. ummm we at here for the wedding and NO ONE is here!”
“its at 6 o’clock” juno said as if i was stupid…..
“are you sure its not five cause……….” i trail off as i am on the phone with him to look at the invitation. BAH! there it is, 6 o’clock. ooops! i hand the phone to robyn.
so what to do with an hour in prineville? nothing and we do not want to drive back to redmond. thank god i have an uncle in powell butte. i call and inquire how to get to his house. he sounds confused, with good reason. fabulous, we have somewhere to go. my aunt is what some may call an anti-social woman, so appearing at their door with two strange girls is probably was not her idea of fun. we sit around for a bit, until my bladder gives me trouble. i wander into their rose filled bathroom. i look at the clock 5:45, crap! robyn mel and i climb back into the car. we drive…….and drive. 5:56 and we still are not in prineville. we arrived at the wedding at 6 o’clock straight up…..ummm, no seats (ok so we did not walk around and look for one but it did not look like there was). so we hide in the back for awhile. the best man comes up and is curious about what we are doing, we inform him of our predicament. he looks at us as though we are idiots and he goes to find us seats. unfortunately there is something on robyns seat, if nothing else please hed this lesson learned here: if something is on our chair do not just wipe it off with your fingers, because if you do your fingers will forever smell of the worst smell in the world.
i fully comprehend that people summon you to their wedding, to watch the wedding yes, however there was an ant on the seat in front of mel. i had to look down to the chair, i had to keep tabs on that little bugger so that his gang of ants and other little bugs with a grudge did not come and attack me during the wedding.
there was a rather extensive lump of time between the wedding and the reception. as robyn went off to blather to osu people, mel and i partook in a game of “guess which guests are mormon based on how they were dressed”. now, given that it would be insolent to walk up to some random ladies and inquire as to whether or not they were mormon, so we did not know our accuracy rate, but i am assuming it was 100%.
after a small detour to arctic circle we found our way to the reception….ok so we did not find our way per-say, we just followed a van. i have complications with large crowds of people, which was a huge dilemma on this particular night. i felt as though i was going to vomit and was a “tittybit” (that’s for you robyn) shaky. therefore it was decided we would place ourselves on a couch in a different room to watch people walk in and out and to watch a show where people looked so happy then would walk into this room and get arrested, then they looked sad. soon there was a gang of ruffians around 14 year of age who stole our tv. one of these hoodlums looked a bit like a kid who attended high school with us. “EZRA!!” “ezra” there was no response…..apparently because his name was not ezra. a new game was made out of speculating his name….alas he did not respond to any of the names. good psychics we are not.
after a sufficient amount of guests had passed us to make their way home we entered the reception room. once again i was overcome with feels of EXTREME uncomfortablity……..ok so now i am making up my own words, but you get the drift!……i suppose the word discomfort could have been used. this caused me to be rather bitchy, which i apologize for. allow me to list my discomforts, first i was wearing a skirt and funny shirt, plus heels (not high heel for most girls but for me boy howdy!). second i was surrounded by osu kids who i have not talked to a year, as well as around new osu kids i was not a part of (and sitting with all them at a large table not being talked to made things a bit worse). not that this is an excuse, but it is an explanation for my behavior.
my dear shauna requested that i take pictures for her and although i did not get her requested “fried and justin all dressed up” picture, I DID GET A PICTURE OF SOME OLD MAN GETTING’ JIGGY WITH IT ON THE DANCE FLOOR! which is just as good right? ok well maybe not since shauna yelled at me when i told her i did not get the “fried and justin” picture.
the best part overall was went mel and i agreed to move to the osu table and mel was getting hit on. i love watching other people getting hit on and being totally uncomfortable! poor mel. unfortunately mel could no longer handle him and left to use the facilities. and when i went to say something to robyn but sadly she was gone dancing.
random weird kid “so you guys arent attached at the hip”
my response “umm yes we are, but we let the other go to the bathroom on their own”
“so if you are attached at the hip, then if someone asked one of you to dance then the other would need someone to dance with?”
“umm, no cause we do not dance” poor mel!! she loves to dance! but not with strange kids, i guess i should have found someone for her to dance with.
“why don’t you dance?”
awwww crap!! it is hard for me to come up with lies right off the bat, especially for someone who is in the bathroom. so i gave it my best try, “cause….um…..so those are fighting fish? do they fight?”
“so dating must be hard for you guys first you do everything together”
“no, we only date twins”
“twins?”
“yes cause it is like dating the same person……..mel!!” thank god mel came back from the bathroom. i wasn’t even the girl he was trying to hit on and i was having major issues with him.
the trip ended with a ride over the mountains and sticky my head out the window at 60 mph to get pictures of the mountain and my GIGANTIC “do not enter sign”, near the split for hood river.
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(3 Tushies | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| WATCH OUT FOR THAT MAN ON THE ICE |
[14 Aug 2003|11:35pm] |
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mood |
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last night and the night before, oh my LORD!! the sky was gorgeous!! the moon was so bright. i love the sky.
i am not sure how i feel about the word "lloyd". i not only dislike the way it sounds, but the spelling leaves something to be desired. i once know a guy named lloyd he worked with my mom when i was little, he gave me presents all the time. i liked him although he was very tall.......i think, i was like 5, but i am probably the same height i was then.
so about lloyd (i got distracted by the other lloyd), kathleen and i went shopping at lloyd center today. it was interesting being that i am not a dress kid. i decided that it must be much easier to be a man. although they smell funny in the morning......but i guess that is not a problem for them.
so it was a long hard day.....not really but i bet kathleen feels that way. by the third store she turned and said "just pick one already!".......while i am writing this i am talking to mel about the temple, and i am very confused......so in the end i did not pick one.
i am not sure i would ever skate on the ice at LLOYD. too many people can watch you. which may only be a problem for me. but others have no problem.
i tend to cover my face when i think other people are going to embarrass themselves (which annoys so people, lol, sorry about that my friend). so we were watching the ice and there was this man who made me want to permanently cover my face.....I LOVE THIS SONG!!......he was very.....happy to be skating. i would say that he was not so much skating and he was doing a little shimmy while wearing skates. he also enjoyed moving his hips in a certain way than a man should. did i mention that he tried to do a somersault on the ice? cause that was interesting. he did one of those "let me run my hands up and down myself to show you how sexy i am" things....it did not work. BUT!!! he looked so happy.
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(3 Tushies | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| MY ICE CREAM DRIVER |
[03 Jun 2003|11:00pm] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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i was driving along the other day and saw something that made my day a little brighter. it was an ice cream truck........no no my friend you do not understand. THIS was no ordinary ice cream truck NOR did it have an ordinary driver. the truck was of the sand dune vehicle persuasion, with three tires and ice cream stickers PLASTER all over it. and the driver was the happiest driver....nay, the happiest PERSON ever. he was in his early twenties and tattooed and pierced...a lot...he was singing whatever odd happy tone he was listening to at the top of his lungs. it made my heart fill with joy!!
so forever ago this kid was telling me about how he has a list of things he wanted to do in his life (although i thought he was a smidgen too young for this i thought it was a good idea). so i began to make MY list......however i never wrote my ideas down. so now being that i forget (way more than i should for my age) everything, i have no idea want i have decided what i must do before i die.
here is a new issue of "spider scares the crap out of kendra"....
so kelsey and i were sitting in history, a class in which the professor annoys the shit out of me, so me eyes began to wander. they made their way down the tile floor where i had the intention to create animals out of spots on the floor. however my plans were interrupted by the large brown spider rapidly making its way toward me. i must have gasped or made some sort of noise as kelsey had turned around and made a face at me, she has seen him too. we watched him swiftly make his way around the people near us, he seemed very disoriented. this is how we spent our next 41 minutes in class, watching....waiting for him to climb on someone and make us shriek. about five minutes before class was out the spider stopped right in between kelsey and i, we kept a close watching turning only once in a while to show the professor we were paying attention.....ok at least to should her our heads were not to heavy for our shoulders. by now i had realized that jason who sits behind me must have a) thought we were nuts or b) thought we were girlie idiots, as we would jerk back and make i have no idea whatever sort of noise when the spider would inch closer. by the time class was over we had lost track of the spider,and being the logical girls we are we refused to put our bags on or move until we gained sight of it again. about a minute later we spotted it, at the head of our row of seats. kelsey would declined to walk out of the room normal like a normal person as it required her to walk past the spider literally climbed over seats to avoid it. needless to say all involved in the story are fine.......not that we would not be but one can never tell.
p.s. the police have not yet apprehended the felon running around my back yard last saturday, i am a tiny bit not ok with this. and give past situations who is coming over and sleeping at my house when everyone leaves over the summer?
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| I AM THINKING BON JOVI'S ASS IS THE BEST ASS IN THE WORLD |
[15 Apr 2003|11:30pm] |
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mood |
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after a long period of pondering, 2 minutes, i came to a conclusion. the bon jovi style of hair (now, not the 80's) is unbelievably, irresistibly, brain-shatteringly HOT......i know brain-shatteringly is not a word, but i have to illustrate my point somehow. i admit that i am not in guys who are blonde but i will make an exception! all i can say about the bon jovi concert is that boy howdy that boy has a smile like no other!! and when it is akabajillian feet tall, holy jesus! and that when he does that thing :: stands up, legs slightly farer apart then shoulder width, arms out leans back, head slightly up, demonstrating to the audience of no one, thank god:: that looks soooooo good from all points of view, oh boy. they gave the best performance! seriously they was soooooooooo much energy in that building (and immense energy in and of its self is HOT).
the goo goo dolls. people do not like them, and i know this, as shauna said "this concert totally does not sound like music you are into", i must agree with her. however, i seriously love their lyrics, and there are three songs in particular that will undoubtedly make me melt.......plus john rzeznik has the hair......:: drool::
oh yeah, my point, being that there are no dark curly (kinda long but not) haired guys out there who can play the guitar AND sing, i have turned my attention to johnny rzeznik type guys, because they have it all hair and they can sing, plus he seems genuinely nice.
a lesson learned: do not walk around down town portland with mel at late at night, being that she is convinced that she is going to be raped and will yammer on about it 'til no end, and inevitably get on me nerves, plus she grabs on to my arm very tightly and makes a "mayahhhhhhh" noise whenever a males walks by us.
although i went to the concert with a fever of 101 (cause the tickets were $70!) and lack the energy of everyone around me and was so tired that i sat in my seat for most of the time, i had a great time. and anytime bon jovi or johnny rzeznik want to leave their wives, boy howdy i am available.
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| PLEASE MEET MY FRIEND GUSTAV |
[31 Mar 2003|01:05am] |
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mood |
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sick |
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everyone needs a "tim". a "tim" is the kind of waiter that makes going out fun. important note, do not eat at a germany restaurant if you do not eat meat, unless there is a "tim" working there.
i do not believe i have ever had the menu read to me by a waiter (voices and facial expressions appericated)......or anyone for that matter. "now, my dear tim, i do not eat meat...what do you suggest?" "the (insert germany here), a lovely fish" "well, you see i do not eat fish either" he stares blankly. "....salad....we have salad....how very germany...." "salad i do not want salad, i...." music starts playing, i look at ana, she looks at me, grins swept across our faces. "i will be back then..."
"ana?" "i know she says" we start to dance in our seats to the polk. "i love this pla-" i say as my grin fades. "what is it?" mel asks. "i fell in love with this place! if the 'right lighting' was not enough then this is what does it!" the right lighting is nitasha theory that a place sucks if it does not have the proper lighting (it is usual romantic lighting). "dead animals on the walls!!!" i say gleefully. "what?" mel asks in shock. i point to the "flying" duck above us. mel and ana gasp in horror then turn to see a deer head staring at us. "OH MY GOD!!" they say in unison.
tim comes back....several times being that we are mel, ana, and me.
fondue, it was the only thing that sounded remotely good to me so we order a round for the table. i will return to this place and only order fondue for all the rest of my life!! it is to die for, lord i love cheese, bread and wine or brady. i order two potato pancakes, well kind of. i believe i got "pota....pan.....ca" out before i turned to tim said "i love the music it makes me think of short fat men doing this dance" as i processed to demonstrate. "and with all this thinking you have apparently done, all you can say is pota pan ca?" i look at him, "yes" "alright then....god!! can they turn the music on any louder" he says as he gets louder. "i like it" i said full of delight. "i know you do" he said with a smile "but you do not have to hear it all day...especially the chicken dance." he says with a sigh. "the chicken dance!?!??!" we all smile with joy. "do they make you dance?" "no thank god, who can stand" he is now doing the chicken dance of us. back to the food, thank god for rest of the tables side orders, they have good mashed potatoes, as well as other things everyone around says, but how would i know.
please note that no one should ever tell their waiter that they hate them and that when they bring back a refill of soda do not tell them to "do it with more.....niceness". although this comment from mel did get tim to curtsy and make finger dimples on his face i am sure he thought we were asses.
"this guy" ana says as she points to the picture of the cartoon gustav "looks like a fat germany hitler" mel and i just stare with looks that say o...k...
"how are your pancakes?" tim asks around 15 minutes after he has brought them to me. "um, ok, great" i answer as i look down to my pancakes that have only one bite from it. "the mocha is great, though" and it was. he moves on to another table. "you seem to forget to eat when we go out." "well this just was not what i wanted i guess........other times i just talk too much."
the next two hours are filled with the management probably wanting to kick us out for laughing and having such a great time and probably wanting to fire tim for talking to us so much and for his "rude jokes and comments" to us, but he was not rude, well ok he was but it was joking and we were doing the same to him they just did not know it. and besides waiters who can talk to you like you are friends and the best.
we order dessert after i come back from getting lost trying to find the bathroom, which i never found. i am not sure why but tim breaks off a part of mel's dessert and throws it on the ground. he looks up "sorry cooties, you know." and walks away.
as we were getting ready to leave we asked "sorry you must think we are rude." he looks at us with a grin "hell no, you guys are the most entertaining and funny people" we smile and say we will return soon. and with that we leave......without mel's doggy bag of chicken that she apparently left in the bathroom........which only she could find.
the rest of the nights of spring break were spent going out to eat with the hawaiians as well as the best vacation, which i will write about tomorrow. hopefully that one will be funny, i have not written a funny journal since last year.
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| DENNY'S AND FUNNY GUYS |
[28 Feb 2003|02:53pm] |
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mood |
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relieved |
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i got a call around 8:30pm. "hey, denny's" "yeah sure i cannot drive, naxblahblah." "ok, ready?" "i will be." 15 minutes later a car pulls in....the weird thing is that vancouver has some time issue that i am sure has something to to do with science and large words. i say this due to everyone (other than my mom and i) being perpetually late. prime example, nitasha lives 30 seconds away from me. we are on the phone "ok i am leaving right now, i am out the door, be ready" 20 minutes later...not 30 seconds but 20 minutes later she is at my house. and people are always amazed that they are late, totally confused!......it must be a time delay that only happens outside my driveway.
"so you are on drugs?" "yeah" she nods "me too!" she has a cold. i explain that with this drug i can pass out at anytime, and that when it comes to waking up from this, i sit up suddenly and make startling confused noises, this occurs several times before i wake up completely . now that i am wake i feel like jello mixed with a slight flying feeling sensation for several hours. "the bottle says not to operate heavy machinery, my mom said that she would not let me play with the washing machine. i was confused, so i looked at her. she said 'haha heavy machinery...washing machine...haha nevermind' i said that i thought they meant that i cannot play with bulldozers. 'how would you get one of those in the house?' 'i dont know'"
mel laughed at the fact that i had just reenacted a whole meaningless conversation, but was delighted to hear a mom joke. a "mom joke" is something nathan and i came up with as little kids when our mom would make a joke that was not at all funny, it was more of a confusing statement for the rest of the world. after hearing a joke of hers we would turn to each other and blink. the saying "i smile cause i have no idea whats going on" applies here.
we walk into denny's. "i will be with you in a moment" "k" we say in unison as we completely ignore her and pass the "please wait to be seated" sign and make our way to the back corner. "heys" are exchanged. a conversation happens, what it is about i am not sure, i am staring at the menu. not looking for food, staring. i interrupt to make my first meaningless comment of the night. "new menus" "what?" "new menus, not even sticky yet" "yes way to pay attention" mel replies with a smile. "i can make it sticky latu says holding his drink up and making a thrusting motion. i pulled my menu in closely. the waitress comes we order drinks, no more. mel and i have not had time to look at food yet...or rather we have had time but had not put in effort. they talk more about people i do not know, so i go back to staring at the menu. on the front there are random dishes of food. a dish and a cup of coffee cast shadows , but in the middle of the shadow of the cup backwards "denny's" appears. the second meaningless comment from me was the pointing out of this to the table. "you notice the strangest things" "why dont you ask the waitress why that is, here she comes" "ready to order" "no" we all reply "ok i am coming back in two minutes, be ready". the next two minutes pass without a word, as it takes full and complete concentration, and true to her word she came back. they all order, i stick with my lemonade. latu and josh look shocked as they are massive massive hawaiians. "she has medical reasons and cant eat". i look at her "i feel like......it is just funny ti hear you say it like that" we both laugh hysterically. they talk about family home evening, being that that is all i know about it i turn my attention to outside where a car is being pulled over, please not that this was far less interesting than when cars get pulled over on COPS. "are you coming on monday?" "huh? what?" josh has distracted me from the car. "oh um naw" "why not? we dont brainwash on mondays" "yeah are going to do double dare." "what?" "you know from nickelodeon" "what?" josh tries to explain "two teams and you ask them to do something. usually it goes like this 'DARE'" he turns his head to one side "DOUBLE DARE" turns his head the other side. "PHYSICAL CHALLENGE!!" he was getting louder and faster each time, but 'physical challenge' was done in a pro wrestling announcer voice so it was more like "PHYS-III-CALL CHALL-ENNNNNGGGGGGE"m his voice was going down in tone with grrrrr increasing. "hey do my birthday is saturday, next saturday, and steve's too, so we are having a big thing. oh and you are coming to the volleyball game in the morning right?" mel sits there staring at me. "you are coming right? we dont brainwash on saturday either." josh says trying to make it sound more fun than it will probably be.
"steve, we should call him" "oh good kendra now you can met the kid i hate" "oh good" i reply remembering two weeks ago. they use my phone to try and call him. "why is your phone have a 541 number?" "umm i was in corvallis last year" this sparks a conversation about the school down there and cows, mostly about the cows there. we decided that it sucks and that cows are cool. soon after joining mel and josh conversation the stories began.
"so we were at the zoo the my dad walks up to the monkeys and just looking at them. one spits on him. so what does he do? he spits back and they just sit there spitting on each other until the zoo keeper walks up and is all pissed and kicks us out." "oh and that one time when we were at the other zoo and well you know how you arent suppose to look at male gorillas in the eyes. so obviously he does. they just sit there looking at each other and then my dad pounds on his chest. the gorilla go nuts and runs around the cage then runs up to where my dad is standing the suddenly claps his hands above his head and smacks the glass, shaking the whole thing. and he just keeps pounding on it. all the other people run away. all of us kids go run and hide. the zoo keepers were really pissed that time. and yeah we got kicked out again." many more "dad" stories coming spewing forth from them, such as when he threw some guy through the window at albertsons for shoplifting and then go to shop as if nothing happened. or chasing some guy to some store and throws him against a wall and breaks his jaw. or road-rage where he follows some guy and makes him pull over, their dad gets our of the car, reaches through the window and punches him. now these may sound weird, but it must have been the way they told them cause it was hysterical at the time.
so how we got back on the topic of cows, which then turned into aliens. "aliens are scary" "what?" mel and i ask. josh and latu go into their thoughts on aliens. a rant that lasts about 20 minutes. "are you lost?" i ask mel. she turns to me "yes, very" "yeah i was lost after 'cows'". josh and latu great the great idea that it would be fun to watch a movie in the middle of a corn field. "what? no it wouldnt." they insist it would be. "dont you remember at the cornmaze we were the idiots screaming the whole time" "yes" they say bluntly. "hey you what is even better?" latu asks. we wait for the answer "when you get so scared and you start running then you hear even more things." josh looks at latu "yeah too bad we dont have cornfields around here." "yeah" latu says sadly, but suddenly smiles "the beach! even better" mel and i look at each other "so you can get sand in cracks you didnt even know about?" "yes"
the way to make friends is by telling them the cancer joke that only nathan can tell. but it is even better then the other person comes up with an equally horrible and terribly mean helen keller joke. is there a time limit at which you can stay at denny's? josh ended the dinning experience with a "joke" about pirates in which the punch line was "arrgh". mel and i stared blankly at him. with that latu and josh stood up. "well i guess we are done" mel and i say to one another. on our way up to the cashier josh asked "hey you wrestled?" "no my brother did and any opportunity where i can wear someone else sweatshirt, i take it" josh was a wrestler and apparently a good one, winning state. i have been warned about his wrestling before. he used to bark at his opponent, which would confuse and frighten them. i make a comment about how i could take him on and did my wrestler's stance, he barely moves toward me and i take off.
as i am paying i over hear the employees talking about how their is a prostitute across the street and how if she comes in they would have to call the police again due to her being unruly. "what? where is the hooker?" the cashiers look at me stunned that i asked. they point. we walk out and stand in front of the door to denny's all trying to fine the hooker. you see we do not have hookers in vancouver. so we all pile into mels car to go hunt down the hooker. we drove all the two block radius around denny's looking for our hooker. "a hooker just cant disappear" mel points out after 10 minutes of circling the block. "go towards wendy's" well pull in near the drivethru. "hey go there the drivethru and ask if they have seen a hooker". a screaming "no!" came from the hawaiian boys. mel looks at me "umm can you imagine if i did". we starting laughing being that we think we are funny. "hey look over there" an arm comes from the back pointing at a figure. "THE HOOKER!" we all yell. we drive by slowly, too slowly as a matter of fact. "bah, i am on the wrong side" latu grunts. "what?" mel says disappointed "i was looking for like julia roberts in pretty woman!" "yeah the hookers up here arent anything special" "yeah it is too cold" "but how can you tell they are a hooker if they are where a parka and long-johns?" "yeah her hair wasnt even big and she didnt have on blue eyeshadow." we drive to the guys house utterly disappointed. ana is there "hey" "hey" we reply. the guys walk inside. "oh hey josh threw some chicken in your car this afternoon" mel warns. "yeah i know, i put it in his car first" a look of "ewwww" crossed both mine and mel's faces. "so what you guys just went out with josh and latu?" "yeah, it was really spur of the moment" mel says. "that is really weird" "yeah but they are funny." "we have plans of later this weekend, are you coming"
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| LOST, BUT FIREMEN HELPED FIND THE WAY |
[04 Feb 2003|02:47pm] |
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he was right, there is so much about "the couve" that i do not know about. and to think it all started with a skate park and a little park.
i ran into ana in the library, standing there talking about what the night would entail, suddenly i feel a nudge. being that hardly any of my friends are still here, the opinions of who it could be was limited. :: confused face:: "hello" he says. a quick "hi" was all i gave. you see it was a tiny little asian guy (think along the lines of "asian tim") who i do not remember knowing. it would not have surprised me if he had just walked up to me thinking that i am someone else, being that may people have my "look" apparently. the look of utter confusion on my face was evidences enough for ana that this conversation was over being that i was too confused to continue. "ok i'll call" ana said as i turned to walk away.
i am not really sure what happened between philosophy of religion and the time that i went to mel's house, so your imagination can fill that in cause i do not know what filled it.
skydiving?!?! hell yeah! "hey want to go skydiving with me and my brothers?" please ask me do something that is not in my best interest and i will almost always agree (as long as nothing is added to my record and i do not hurt anyone). there is no way i would say "no", most everyone who knows me well knows i love to scare myself.
the plan of finding a new place to eat ever week has not gone so well. first we tried a germany restaurant, it was closed for a wedding (so we took a traffic cone), and second the igloo was closed for some unknown reason. time passes (do not ask me what happened cause i do not remember).
the next thing i remember we were back at mel's and ana has left to met some people. mel and i go to my house so i can change and then we are to met up with everyone a half-hour before midnight. things are looking go until mel has to give directions.
justin told me that there were places around here that i never knew about, well i found, by accident.
mel and i were driving around an area called "dark park" and it has that name for a reason, crappity crap that area is soo poorly lit. if you have ever heard of mel and i having problems in prune hill otherwise known as the swan neighborhood this is the same type of bermuda triangle. with one midget difference, there is a cemetery from a freaking long time ago at the dead end of one of the roads, i bet the person who put the "dead end" sign up thought it was pretty funny. we drove up and down and up and down the roads in this neighborhood to find ana's house before it was time to head out to do whatever. you know is scary movies where the road slips off into three different directions and the morons in the movie go down the one that has no light and is not pavement and you are yelling at the movie that they are going to die? yeah... enough said. the end of the road was so narrow that i had trouble turning around, not to mention that the task was made more difficult by the fact that i had successfully found the way to a small freaking lone house at the end of the road. we had turned around and heading out the road we never should have gone down to find a man just standing there....standing there on this road that goes nowhere. well obviously being me, who is jumpy and must scream when you scare the living shit out of me (after thinking about it we know he could hear us, because lets face mel and i are not quiet girls). we “saw” many people after this, I use quotation marks on that word since we are not really sure what we saw or if we saw anything at all, we had excellent imaginations. a new rule is purposed, DO NOT TELL THE OTHER PERSON IF YOU SEE A PERSON, IT WILL ONLY CAUSE SCREAMING. soon after the was….not really broken, but it was kinda of a give away of a spotting when i screamed. Mel made the executive decision of returning to her house and just giving up on ana’s house, because according to mel, “i don’t know it just moved i don’t know how, but it moved”. now being the leaving process, how to get out, we eventually did.
firemen, ana and I talked about firemen and colby at dinner. all i have to do is find a firehouse. hazel dell has firemen, and from there we found ana’s house. “where have you been” ana asked as we entered her house. “well obviously we had to get lost first” we replied. we explained our adventure as ana and the others just stared at us probably thinking that we were morons. “why did not you call? how did you find it?” “well we couldn’t think of your number” mel said. “honestly the only way we found it was that I remembered when we were talking about firemen” i said. “so basically you will only remember things if firemen are involved” “pretty much” i replied. “good to know if I ever need to tell you something important”.
that is right, it is all about the firemen.
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| CLASS ON SATURDAY |
[27 Jan 2003|11:41pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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so i signed up for a class on saturday thinking that it would be a good idea......it is not. the class is from 9am to 6pm. that is a long day for little miss fidgety kendra. first the class goes over "what is love" everyone must give their opinion, i dread the moment she calls on me, i REALLY hate explaining it to people. bob, the 60 year old man next to me tells me that i am "too young to think this way and that i will get over the bitter relationship"......relationship?!?!? what relationship? mel jumps to my defense and explains to the class that i have felt this way for as long as i have known her which has been 6...7 years now. this causes more sighs. good gravy. oh good break time. i could really use some hot cocoa. one problem, mel nor i has ever used one of those vending machine coffee makers. we stand there for a good 5 minutes pushing random buttons trying to make hot cocoa come out, all the while a guy from our class is standing behind us laughing. break is ending soon so we let the guy use the machine and walk away. we follow what he did.....success!! but now we cannot drink it due to its scolding nature.
the next topic in class, FLIRTING!! need something to do on a saturday morning??? how about having a 70 year old woman teach you how to flirt. this seriously is the funniest thing in the world, apparently i need to bat my eyes and show a lot of teeth and do "side long glances". i think i would prefer to stick with my way of flirting......ok so i do not have a way of flirting since i do not actually flirt but i like the non-flirting much more than the 70 year old lady flirting. mel decides that we are going out tonight so this secret flirting can be tried out. this leads me to decide that every time i go out eat with someone, we are going to try a new restaurant/cafe. this is in part due to running into justin (a friend from my soph. year) and him taking me to a park in vancouver that i never knew was there, so now i have decided that i am going to make him hang out with me since the only other person i hang out with here is mel (since my other friends here are sluts and druggies). by the way i was completely shocked at his style, all skater like.
i actually may have made a bad impression on my instructor tonight, i made mel laugh so hard she had to get up walk all the way across the room to leave cause of her laughing /crying episode. i was told at the end of class that if i am "going to be funny to please be funny to the rest of the class".
my next entry will be about when i was little my town would have port-a- potty races down main street. i actually have a video of it one year......nothing like watching shit being pushed down the street.
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| THAT POOR POOR SHOE |
[16 Dec 2002|11:57am] |
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well the hockey game was great, i think, you see mel and i were not really paying attention due to landon and kyle. now i have to point out that landons personality is the type where you could think he was drunk but he is not, he is just a hyper, loudmouth that most person probably would not like.
this was the "teddy bear" game. this is where on the first goal scored by the winterhawks (YAY!) people throw a teddy bear out onto the ice to go to the childrens hospital (they got 4371 teddy bears). so we are sitting there "watching" the game and sudden the sirens go off, people are standing and cheering that the top of their lungs, and the song TNT is blaring over the speakers, teddy bears litter the sky making it so that you can literally not see across the ice to the other side (i would like to say that neither mel or i got hit by flying teddy bears, but i cannot do that). landon reaches down and picks up his shoe as if he were going to throw it down on the ice to join the teddy bears. he laughs at himself then turns to zack and britney (he has been hitting on britney, zacks girlfriend all night, in fact he trying laying across zack in the seat and "steals" kisses from her, zack nor britney as amused). kyle who thinks he is about to put off the best trick ever reaches down to the ground picking up landons shoe then turns to paul and points to the orange and red shoe in his hand they laugh hysterically. the crowd is still standing singing and doing arm motions to TNT. "tttthhhhhhh" (or what ever noise you prefer to symbolize the sound of the throwing of shoes) a beautiful stream of orange and red glide through the sky landing among soft cuddly teddy bears. kyle tries his hardest to stop his laughing. landon turns hearing the muffled laughter and smile at kyle then turns back to the ice yelling. "man i need food" landon sits to put on his shoes............now see this is something which i do not understand.....why did landon take off his shoes in the first placing being that it is an arena with sticky floors covered in dirt and mock?
anyway landon turns to kyle "dude my shoes", landon looks on the ground and all around him. kyle snickers and tries to help landon look while trying to look innocent. landon taps on the shoulder of the people in front of them to ask if his shoes are under their seats. landon turns around to mel and i who are sitting behind him and kyle, mel and i are crying due to our uncontrollable laughter. kyle looks at us and has a smile the size of....something HUGE on his face he starts to laugh and sits down. landon who is exhausted from his shoe search and overwhelming hunger. one could actually see the light bulb appear above landon's head "where is my fucking shoe?" he asks smiling. i give kyle credit here because he tried so incredibly hard to not laugh while explaining what had happened to the shoe. "WHAT?!?!?! NO!! SERIOUS??!?" landon asks confused. his confusion turns into anything but anger, he gets over his shock and laughs at the clever trick his friend has played on him. landon stops laughing suddenly ".....dude, how am i going to get food?" and out of no where another light bulb appears. you can see his thoughts run across his face, they seem to say "I KNOW!! IN ORDER TO GET MY SHOE BACK I WILL TACKLE KYLE WHO IS SITTING IN HIS SEAT AND STEAL HIS SHOE....BUT NOT TO GET FOOD!! OH NO! TO THROW ON THE ICE!! YES THAT IS IT THE PREFECT PLAN!" and with that he plan was brought into action. you could hear the gasps of awww when a grey vans shoe hits the center of the ice. yes landon that was a great plan......now there are only two shoes between the two of you. oh no!!!! a perplexed look rolls across landons faces he has no idea how he is going to get either shoe back, now he has to walk around the world without a shoe, but this time it was not a choice!! the wheels are turning, although the wails of laughter coming from mel and i are making it hard for him to think.....i believe it would be hard for landon to think anyway.
part of the reason people would have believed landon was drunk is that all through out the night landon had been swaying and having trouble standing as well as sitting, his taking off and putting back on of his shirt repeatedly, leading in to talk to talk to people but appearing unable to stop his head and therefore grabbing the persons head he was talking to and ramming it into his own head and he was continually punching his friends.......hard, but not in a mean way it was a loving punch that would rearrange one's organs with smiles and laughter. "man, what......how......the shoes man......back so i can get food........" an old lady who had had just about enough of landon yelled "why dont you go to the usher down at the ice ask him to get the shoes and hopefully he will kick you out!!!" landon turns to the lady and stares the light bulb turns on once again "yes!! ask for the shoe back!! great idea!!", landon pops up and smiles and is off down to the ice......now i have to point out that landon was so perplexed as how to run around the arena and get food without the shoe, but running around the arena without a shoe for the hell of it was ok.
landon ran around the rose garden (which is a pretty good size) in search of shoes. this quest must have been hard and daunting due to the large amount of time that landon was gone or perhaps he got distracted by..........well absolutely anything you can possible think of. landon returned at the end of the first period mighty proud of himself. he hands the shoe to kyle with a large smile of success "hey......dude where is your shoe?" oh!! what a shocking blow to poor landon his quest was partly unsuccessful. he had been distracted from directing all of his attention on the shoes, that once he had one shoe in his hand he forget that he himself was walking around the rose garden with only one shoe on. sad sad confused landon stands up with his head hanging low goes in search of his own shoe.
landon returned now and then throughout the second period to his seat next to kyle who is much into hockey (as for the three others, britney, zack, and paul i am not sure why they were there; paul was hitting on some girl who was completely not attracted to him and zack and britney were in their snuggle snuggle eat french fries and keep landon away world). every time landon would return kyle would look at him and smile then turn back to the game then turn to landon for a second look, he would first look at landons face then to his feet. "dude, where is your shoe?" BLAST!! off again in search of the infamous orange and red shoe. every time landons head seemed to hang farther and farther down.
the last time landon returned fruitless from the land of the missing shoe kyle decided to join his mindless friend so that he would not get distracted and remain shoeless. landon and kyle returned just in time to yell at two old men throwing tires at the goals down on the ice, although a drastic difference in landon was noted. he had become a normal person, well kinda actually not really, but now he would remain in his seat not talking or moving until kyle would be excited about a play then turn to the friend he had been told to "keep an eye on" and "babysit" by britney zack and paul. kyle would smile and clap and yell then look at landon and punch him in the shoulder hard, for this brought a smile to poor landon.
this story ends on a sad note, the landon and kyle left about 5 minutes into the third period and with them took their amusement for mel and i. it was never clear whether or not landon had ever found in shoe, it may be given to a child with cancer at the childrens hospital, who now holds all of the worlds happiness and amusement for the 14th of december, peppered with wonderful hockey and shoe memories for mel and i to return to each time we see a shoe on the side of the road or two friends beating the living shit out of one another with smiles are wide as the eye can see stretched across their faces. but come to think of it i do not think that landon would ever be aware that he did not have a shoe on
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| HAUNT CORN MAZES............FREAKIN AWESOME!! |
[28 Oct 2002|12:06pm] |
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k says:
BAH!! MORMONS!!!! they never let me have fun. "no kendra, no drinking drain cleaner" or "no kendra we do not need to throw that large cake off a 60 floor building, let eat it in celebration of god"
S says:
lol
S says:
I think that is why I try to surround myself with NON MORMONS
S says:
or atleast have a steady balance
k says:
my head a cartoon mormon was saying it and they looked totally high. HIGH ON GOD!!!
S says:
LMAO
S says:
lol
S says:
that is an odd picture to have in ones head
k says:
what smoking a joint with god rolled up in it?
S says:
lol
S says:
oh my god
S says:
for the love of monkeys
S says:
that is just wrong
k says:
mormons smoking GOD................
k says:
"dude this is high quaity god"
S says:
LOL
S says:
and the fact that you think of these things... cracks me upt god
sorry if you are mormon, it was not meant to be mean.
saturday was my birthday with mel. holy crap-ola!! we had the most awesome day. now if you know us (kathleen), then you will find this amazing. we actually made plans of what to do, normally we argue about who has to decide what we are going to do cause mel and i are soooooo indecisive. we decide it would be a day of haunting............
a headless horseman train ride! the only possible downside to this is that it was out in yacolt (this would be a downside to anyone other than me cause i love that drive), but it was not since mel loves moulton falls and we drove passed there. we got to the "train station", which was just a one room mobile home thingy, a smidgen early......an hour early. we walked over to the "pony express", a little coffee shop, and got some good warm drinkage. then walked back over to the station. on the ride up to yacolt mel and i realized that for being such great friends for a long time, we had no clue about the tiniest little things about one another, such as favorite animal, or favorite contemporary love song or favorite 80's love ballad (which i guess alot of people would not know about another person but we thought we should that about the other person in case we ever wanted to go on one of the shows where you have to know the other persons favorite everything). so we played the "whats your favorite......" game. i must say a lot of people like the color purple, which surprised me.
more people started arriving and we stood there talking and having fun. both mel and i overheard someone say "a haunted goblin tunnel" mel and i turned to one another and had the same reaction :: eyes grew to the size of grapefruit, jaws drop open, a look of total excitement washed over us.....then hysterical laughter:: everyone on the platform turns and shoots the look of death our way. every loads onto the train and mel and i take our seats. we smile at each other and smile in childish delight. "this is soooo awesome!!.......kendra, do you realize that we are the biggest dorks in the world? we are the only two 19 or 20 year olds who would be this excited about a kiddy train ride" as we bouncy up and down in our seats with uncontrollable happiness. this is where i point out where this was a totally cheesy and "for the children train ride", but mel and i had the most awesome time. the acting of the "scary dead people" was horrible, i believe a teacher must have offered extra credit to anyone who would volunteer to partake in the action. we stopped at a little covered area next to the train tracks and everyone got off to play the games they had set up. mel and i decided to play the "throw the tiny bean bag at pumpkins sitting on top of thick sticks" game. after looking up a witch's skirt hanging above mels head, mel threw first. my reaction :: hysterical laughter:: "mel darlin' you suck at this!" :: a look of utter shock hits mel:: "yeah well lets see you do it" she says in her taunting voice. "dang it" i think "i am going to suck then she is going to give me crap" i throw i miss the first one, mel laughs in delight that i suck as bad as she does. i throw again, and again and again. i hit all the pumpkins, the people around me seem in impressed. the game conduct put the pumpkins back up, i knock them down again and again. i am the pumpkin knock them down master. lord in heaven (i use this saying cause my hindu friends says it all the time), i ended up with soooo much candy that i will never eat. we board the train again and finish the ride. mel and i have had a stupendous time!
our next stop.....to meet up with the girl from the previous night and some other people who i have never met. we are now off to a haunted corn maze!
the night is freezing! i stand in line with the people i have never met before for over an hour. i decide to make this random girl my new friend and stand as close as i can to her to keep warm. "STEPHANIE!!" someone yells "picture time!" i ignore the screaming being that my name is not stephanie. some grabs at my arm pulling me toward them. "come on stephanie" :: bewilder look:: "or should i call you bambam." i look at ana "i am really going to start thinking my is stephanie if you kept calling me that" we walk over to a piece of wood painted orange and has three head wholes. mel, ana, and i go behind it so some guy named latoo or something can take a picture. i do not believe that taking a picture has ever been so hard. mel and i kept being knocked over by anas butt, she is falling off the platform and the piece of wood is falling away from us. we get back in line and mel and ana try to figure out their hooker names along with the new girl who i have made my friend. they are now candy and tiffany and tootsy. all of which now have songs to go along with their hooker names. they look at me, " umm i guess you will just have to sing to flintstones song".
i hear a noise in my ear as i stand there looking around at all the people waiting to get in the maze. the noise in getting closer to me. "..........the girl in front of me". i turn around to see a very large hawaiian about three inches infront of me. "i knew something had to get your attention" we talk for awhile, he is nice and really funny. later mel will say "see he isnt josh awesome, YAY! i am soo glad you met all this guys, they are so fun! now we all can hang out" needless to say our hour in line did not seem that long.
we finally enter the corn maze. mel and i grab onto one another with ana and some guy in front of us. we all decide the maze would be more fun without our flash lights (however this was probably not our best idea). about 10 steps in the maze mel and i scream, lowering ourselves to the ground, in part because we are laughing so hard we cannot move and in part that we did not want to be killed by whatever had touched us. "you would be fun to watch a scary movie with" and with a chuckle the hawaiian guys walks on. we look up to see an ear of corn to be our life threatening danger. we laugh at how jumpy we are and continue on. the night goes on with mel and i remaining the jumpiest people in the world and the haunters loving every minute of our piercing shrieks. at one point i felt something behind us. i turn to see a tall figure in only black and a short "jason". "umm hello" i turn to look at mel, she turns and we make a muffled sqeaul and take off running. we look over our shoulders and yes, those little bastards are running right after us. we run into the backs of ana and whoever she is with. we push and shove them until they figure out that we are running from black figures. they take off and we are right of their backs. those freaking.........freaks followed us! we began to make friends with some of the figures, ok well not really friends but we had run into them so many times due to being lost that they were no longer scaring us. although one guy did give me a heart attack when he stuck corn in my ear (he thought he was funny). we began to run into three hot guys over and over again and began to make friends with them and walked around the maze with them. we finally decided it was cold and that we ("we" being me and mel) had to pee so we started to find our way out.
the maze was fun and the hawaiian guys were awesome. being that we all took different cars we met back up in vancouver for food. mel and i still had not peed when we arrived at the meeting spot. i was standing there hoping i would not freeze to death while waiting to pee when the hawaiian guy who i was talking to line came up and said "so do you have a name?......or are you just mel's friend" i turn to look at him up out of the corner of my eye i saw the door open and mel go inside (off to the bathroom). " umm, i am mel's friend and mel's friends has to go pee" i say as i run across the parking lot. as i am running away i hear them say "oh ok well......ok"
i love how my urine runs my life. and i therefore miss out on conversation with hawaiian guy.
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(Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| GREEK FEST |
[06 Oct 2002|09:15pm] |
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mood |
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lamb on a spit! weeeeee! oh just joking i am not a fan of the meat, but i am a fan of the greek. i spent friday night with shauna and her friends from high school. i must say i am a fan of becky. we ate, we drank (shauna more then the rest of us), we had fun. the were no attractive males however. although the announcer did point us out to the crowd. it is unclear why.......i think it had to do with shaunas pelvic thrusting. yeah but it was fun. one of the dancers was more to watch due to his loosing of the skirt. i like the shoes they wear, but they do not look practical. speaking of dancing, i enjoy watching people who are really into whatever it may be that they are doing and they are no longer aware of others. all in it was fun. i love that shauna kid! happy birthday.
i spent my favorite LDS person this weekend. i love "smell". that is what my brother calls mel. i love riding in cars with her. we talk about everything. and of course we sing! and i love how i can expect things from her..such as, she will have to pee and i need to be prepared for it, she will always be late (and that is why i plan for that), i know that i will be distracted by how much fun i am having with her and i will miss my turn, we will need to do something that we both suck at and so we will laugh all the way through it, we will be reminded of one of the stupid things that only we laugh at makes us laugh hysterically for 5 minutes and impairs my driving. i love that kid.
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(3 Tushies | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| BARBIE |
[03 Oct 2002|11:15pm] |
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mood |
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jubilant |
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dang i forgot to write about barbie guy, so instead here is he quote. "if barbie was eating another barbie we are all 'no no bad barbie doesnt do that', but if gi joe was eating another gi joe we are like 'meh', we dont care about army men eating other army men, but barbie.....we care who she eats." some guy who was very into talking about barbie and cares about her personal life.
maybe i will fill you in later. maybe not. this story made me laugh for hours, maybe i will keep the barbie story...........yeah cause you guys wont find it funny.
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(1 Tushie | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| WARNING: AVOID SLEEPING ON KENDRAS RIGHT SIDE, DUE TO THE FACT THAT SHE MAY TRY TO CUDDLE. |
[12 Sep 2002|11:04pm] |
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mood |
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embarrassed |
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the kitchen, not so much a fun place for me. however i decided to bare it and ........ok i think nick and warrick from csi are hot. anyway, i decided to make chocolate covered bananas (sounds gross but i think they were good). messes are inevitable when i am in the kitchen, i like to play around and see what i can come up with. first i must point out once again that bananas do not go in the freezer, when you took them out they are inconceivably mushy. chocolate in fairly messy, but mostly only when i am in charge of it. nitasha walked into the kitchen during a little struggle with the chocolate i was in the middle of. covered in chocolate i would jump around the kitchen trying to save the banana from the grasps of the chocolate, sufficiently sucessful....mostly after a hard fight. i hear they were tasty though.
side note: my theory are correct. not only proven by seeing it, but a song and t-shirt told me so.
took a little trip this week. fun for the most part i suppose. i think i prefer road trips. everything seems more fun in a car. dancing and singing to other cars. i tend to be more loud in cars. i enjoy just driving, why do we have to have a destination? not only are they more fun, but if people actually want to talk about something i do that best in cars as well. that is where most stuff comes out. cars are more fun then the actual trip.
oh! shooting stars here i come! i saw a shooting star! i was so proud of myself (not that i have anything to do with causing the shooting star but hey). sorry star watching partner for getting so excited, i will tone it down. although it was not all the great considering i kept thing of the movie "signs" and was expecting an alien to come attack me. i am not sure why that movie is on my mind so much.
cuddle slut= not kendra.
note: when sleeping around kendra do not sleep on her right side (so yes it changes according to whether or not i am on my back) as justin may have found out if he had waken at a certain part of the night.
something woke me up the first night. i am glad that everyone else was asleep, seeing that the sleeping position. sleeping between justin and fraz. i woke up and found that i had slid down the hill a bit. i tend to cuddle or move up close to whatever is on my right side (in this case that would have been justin). woke up about an inch away from justin's stomach. so i backed out and semi ran into fraz. then pulled myself back up the hill. those poor boys. next time i am sleepy on the right side of everyone. and just give me a body pillow so that i do not make this boys uncomfortable. in fact i should be secluded from the rest of the sleeping group.
i did not get drunk this weekend and felt extremely out of place.
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(6 Tushies | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| SORRY ABOUT MY BROTHERS NAKED BUTT |
[22 Aug 2002|12:05am] |
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mood |
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embarrassed |
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laughter is not something i am good at when i am uncomfortable. even if someone has just said the most hysterical thing ever. however i do smile uncontrollably. even when on the phone with people i do not i smile at them, then i feel bad cause they seem nice and are funny, but i cannot laugh. i just smile and they cannot see that. i try to laugh but i cannot seem to, i dont even have a fake laugh to use. i only have one laugh, my loud laugh that is used when i honestly find something funny. however there are different levels to my laugh. 1) the normal 2) i still find the funny thing funny after most people have stopped laugh or their laugh is dying down and i have to try and stop so i breath in an unusual way but it always continues 3) i am laughing so hard that i cant breath and i start to click, then the noise stops and there is a silence but i am still laughing then the clicking starts again (and then can last as long as 2 1/2 hrs. and i cannot do anything else. i know this cause i ran off the road once while laughing and making the clicking noise). but during all the stages i usually am in the fetus position.
a dinner party at the zoo for doctors of legacy hospital seems like a great idea, since everything is more fun at night. and it was fun, however a major part of going to the zoo is seeing the animals. my three favorite animals at the zoo are the monkeys (which i saw since you must walk right passed them to get to the dinning area), and then the gators and the hippos which were not seen due to.........i am not really sure what. so needless to say i was sadden. however the night was did have a surprise. we rode the train (now you cannot see many animals on thr train and those i think were accidental), and like i said the night time makes everything more fun on top of my liking to ride trains.
drinking, a fun idea (maybe not according to fraz), however sometimes there is a down side. like frazier having alcohol poisoning and spending the weekend on my bathroom floor vomiting. we bought the poor boy pedialite. i was not the biggest fan of the favor he wanted. how in the world can i express my extreme dislike for all things purple and grape favored. i wonder what my face looked like when i was attempting to open the bottle. i removed the plastic wrap around the lid (however not without difficulty), unscrewed the lid and came to the plastic peely thingy. i hardly opened it at all and felt as though my stomach was going to come out of my mouth and fraz would have a vomiting buddy to accompany him on the bathroom floor. i am not sure what look was on my face (but i would have liked to have seen) when i asked justin to finish opening and pouring the purple liquid into a cup. i would like to point out that fraz had and i repeat HAD nice smelling vomit until the grape liquid began to come out.
i hope that fraz is ok now. he seemed on his way back to healthy when my brother decided to start drinking and pull down his pants in the front yard as everyone was rolling down the hills (except for poor shauna who happened to be on the receiving end on my brothers butt). and why my brother felt the need to pull down his pants, i have no clue. speaking of no clue, more pictures of the night i do not remember have been developed and these have been said to be "good pictures in terms of......well you will turn red". i asked that they be compared to spring break pictures in terms of how embarrassed i will be and i was just laughed at.
oh!! if you have not seen "my big fat greek wedding" you must go and see it. i loved and everyone i have talked to loved it. i seriously have never laughed so hard at a movie. it was EXTREMELY good!!
good question: Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
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(1 Tushie | Give Me Joaquin's Tushy!)
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| BUGS |
[14 Aug 2002|07:21pm] |
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mood |
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 productive |
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my past with plants hasn’t been all that good. let recap shall we….i received a plant from people over at sackett (i am not sure who it is from, one or both of the boys in 317, i think that was their room number), the plant lived a nice life once i realized it needed water and sunlight, but when the year came to an end i was not sure if the plant could handle the ride home so i helped nature out a little. my second plant was a cactus from canada. he lived along side the sackett plant, however this one had a tendency to fall and required many upon many replantings; therefore i helped nature out a little.
so my mom left once again. the last two times she had been gone for like two weeks. both of those times the average temperature was about 90 (over many 95). this is a temperature at which things should be getting water, however i forgot. so my mom returns to find some for her plants dead (ironically, well not so ironic, the plants she told me to that she was most concerned with and would least like to see dead). however her reaction wasn’t all that horrific due to the fact that she said from the moment she left
them in my care she had been bracing herself to come back and find all her plants dead. now i must stop and tell you that i do not feel that it is entirely my fault. the reason i did not water them is because, although it was 90 degrees it had also rained and i thought that with all the rain the plants did not need me to water them, which was true for the most part. the plants that my mom was so concerned about were on the desk railing (so i thought that they would be rained on), apparently the roof goes out farther than i thought.
so now the mom is gone again but this time only for a week. and i refuse to fail her yet again. i rise at 5:45 am (so that means i only am getting about 4 hours of sleep) and being to water her plants. my parents have an acre plus so watering takes about 2 1/2 to 3 hours. the reason this takes so long is that we have tons of trees (most that i water have been planted in the past two or three years and that need a lot of water). the only trees that do not required me to water them and the hazelnut trees (which is good, cause they a huge and there are about 30 of them). and apparently there are special rules that apply to watering rose bushes, however i don’t recall what they are (unfortunately we have about 20 rose bushes, so if i am doing something wrong then that is about 20 rose bushes i have to pay for).
now there are two things that i am having a bit of a hard time dealing with.
1) walking into spider webs that are about head level for me. which would be fine it i saw the webs first and then walked around or under them. i however the other morning i did not see the web and had a spider start to crawl around on my face. so natural i do the "ahhh get off of my face spider" dance and give my neighbors a 5 minute long show.
2) i have a major major major problem with ants. this problem stems back to about the age of 5 or 6. so many know this story, it is too traumatic for me to tell, most have heard the story via my mom. so i am water the same morning as the spider dance, and by now i am having a good time. and i look down to make sure the water is going in the right spot since i had been dance and moving about while trying to water. so i look down and spy massive about of ants all crawling around where i am watering. i jump back and gasp a little (ok so maybe it was a big hurcin’ gasp). you know when you see bugs and you start to feel them crawling all over you? ok so yeah the ants ARE actually crawling on my. so needless to say i did a spastic dance. and even thinking about it now makes me uncomfortable. so i go inside frantically search, ahh ha!! found it. i pick up the phone and dial while i pace around the house. "hello?" the voice says. "ANTS" i say in a not so chipper voice that is a semi panicked. "what?" "ANTS, ants all over the place, me and the plants. Ants" i say in the same tone "the voice just laughs, "you called me long distance and while i was on vacation to tell me that there are ants? ants….ants that are outside, in nature? where they belong?" a short pause. "YES" i reply. my mom replies with "well what do you know. ants" and then she changes the subject and we talk for a couple minutes. i tell her i love her and we say goodbye, but not before she has a chance to laugh at me one more time.
this morning watering went well, i avoided the ants and only tripped over the hose twice.
in other kendra news: this weekend was good, i think. i am not sure i do not remember most of it, but people who were there, that tell me, i had "such a great time. you were having more fun then i have seen you have in a long time." tangent- i was driving behind a semi full of chicken today on my way to seattle, btot….with that in mind however, for about two days after that weekend i had a not so happy tummy (and no it was not from what i drank, although i am not entirely sure what i had to drink). so for awhile the sight and smell of food made me feel icky. tangent- i have an itchin’ to hear the song hurricane by bob dylan. so as far as i know Ii am going to a theme park with some "pretty chill peeps". i so full of excitement and "weeeeeee" for this. i hope everyone else is as "weeeeeee" as i am since it would not be as much fun if i was the only one happy to go. i have a sweatshirt from when i was in 4th grade from disneyland i found two months ago. my sister-in-laws 21st birthday is coming up. she is coming down to p-town and going bar hopping and wants me to go with her. and thinks that she can hook me up with some random guy at the bar. however, hopping and picking up random guys is not my style.
oh hey hey hey! i read in the newspaper about a country that’s people have been getting sick and have makes appearing on their skin. the citizens were telling the government that it was aliens. the government officials told them that it was just some sort of firefly insect that scientists had not seen before this illness started.
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